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Thursday, October 07, 2004
Future of Customer Care
It has been only 3 months, I am in UK. I remember having read
somewhere that even in most technologically advanced societies 30 to
40 % of the people are not compu - literate, rather refuse to be so.
That leaves only telephone as the most common medium of communication
and cutomer care . By the time I myself become a victim of telephonic
slavery, being forced to become a customer of A to Z including the
omnipotent insurers, without whose consent one can't live in UK, I was
wondering what will be the future of a customer, something which every
human being is destined to be.
It was exactly then, I came across 2 small pieces- one is a printed
matter that got published in "Telegraph" of 26th Sept. Sunday, on page
24, which comes under a section called opinion.telegraph.co.uk and
under a subheading "comment", a column by oliver Pitchett. He was
virtually reproducing a "scholarly and insightful article about UK" by
Mrs.VPK Prasad,who has been taking calls in Lucknow for many years.
Second piece is a content of a forewarded mail by a young group of
engineers working again in India. I am going to reproduce the
forwarded mail in toto . Before that I will give you the gist of the
article by Mrs.VPK Prasad. In essence she was viewing life in a
customer society where call centers and telephones decides the tunes
and you just dance to the tunes.
Mrs. Prasda says UK is a country where even months and seasons are
measured out in direct debits( a system of draining your bank account
in a systematic and legal way) and every call taker ( sitting in
Bangalore or Hyderabad) is able to make a Briton press one of the ten
options and eleventh to hear the options again and keeps him or her
hanging for one hour reminding frequently that his or her call is
very important to somebody (which may be recorded for training
purposes ) and at the end the customer finds himself or herself
exactly at the starting point and the call taker still asking is
there anything else he or she can help the customer with ! The writer
even enjoys the simple faith of people in 0800 ( a free phone number )
and the fatalistic acceptance of the customer reference number that
life has dealt them! Mrs.Prasad adds further " The basis of most
religions is the notion that, in our life on this earth, we are "held
in a queue", but if we are patient and stoical, sooner or later a
"representative" will be with us- prbably in an afterlife ".
Suppose you are successful with the call taker. The
future scenerio is the content of the forwarded mail, which I was
talking about. Just read on.....
Future of customer care
=======================================
> Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."
> Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
> Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
> Customer: "It's eh..., hold on......6102049998-45-54610"
> Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling now from...."
> Customer: How did you get all my phone > numbers?"
> Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
> Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
> Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
> Customer: "How come?"
> Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure
and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
> Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
> Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
> Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
> Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the
National Library last week Sir"
> Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much
will that cost?"
> Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is
$49.99"
> Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
> Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash,Sir. > Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your > housing loan, Sir."
> Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some
cash before your guy arrives"
> Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your daily
limit on machine withdrawal today"
> Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How
long is it gonna take anyway?"
> Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come
and collect it on your motorcycle..."
> Customer: " What!"
> Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a
motorcycle,...registration number 1123..."
> Customer: " ????"
> Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
> Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles > of cola as advertised?"
> Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "
> Customer: "#$$^%&$@$%^"
> Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on
15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a
policeman...?"
> Customer: [Speechless]
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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Friday, October 15, 2004
Friday, October 22, 2004
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Saturday, November 27, 2004
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